Help those

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Is the old saying, “Help those who can’t help themselves.” I have Googled it and several different versions or iterations come up for it.

I am tired.

Tired of helping those who nearly refuse to listen to reason and help themselves.

Once again, helping someone who has struggled all of their adult life, has a family, and continues to dream “pie in the sky” dreams even though the family would be homeless if not for the help of others.

“Get a full time job.” Good advice. Doesn’t matter what at this point and it really doesn’t matter how much it pays as long as it is brining in money that can be saved for the future and put to good use when the time comes. Instead, it is ignored for the idea that “starting my own business” is the better way to go – regardless of the fact that it has been pointed out time and time again that this goal should be a side gig until it can provide for the family on a full time basis. It has no benefits to start with. It has no healthcare. It is piecemeal at best for an income.

“Go visit Community Action to get some local ai started.” There is time in the day. Sure, the three youngest kids will have to be in tow to do it but it’s getting something started.

“Go visit DSHS. Get that process started.” Excuses about why it’s not possible at the moment.

This family has been living on state aid for years. This family has basically survived the last 7 months on pure charity from others, something to the tune (if roughly added together) would amount to probably about $40,000.

I am tired.

I am tired of helping someone that can’t or won’t help themselves.

What’s your take?

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OK, so here’s a different question for you. What would you do if given advice by someone with questionable personal demonstration of advice given?

Let’s say for instance:

  • Do you take driving advice from someone who has dents and scratches all over their vehicle?
  • Do you take construction advice from someone who has a house that is falling apart?
  • Do you take weight management advice from a doctor who has a weight problem themselves?
  • Do you take cooking advice from someone who can’t find a job in a restaurant?
  • Do you take fishing suggestions from someone who can’t catch a fish?
  • Do you take writing advice from someone who can’t write?

I think you get the point.

What do you do with advice from someone who doesn’t seem to put said advice to practice in their own lives?

Do you dismiss the advice outright? Do you take it into account and go your own way? Do you follow it and hope you didn’t get set on the wrong path?

Is there any reason to take advice from someone who appears to not take their own advice?

Drop your thoughts in the comments. I am looking forward to a lively discussion!

Asking, for a friend…

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Asking for a friend. It’s a rhetorical question, really, but I still need to ask just to get it off my chest. You can provide your answers to the question in the comments, if you are so led. What would you do?

Scenario:

If you knew someone (let’s say a really good friend or even a family member) was struggling financially and you know that they had a history of making really poor decisions, what would you do when you learned they made yet another one?

Said someones are on state and federal assistance, have four kids, can’t keep up with rent or other bills, has debt collectors “knocking on the door,” and is basically using every sort of charity they can qualify for to meet needs the other sources can’t or won’t meet.

It’s tax return season and they likely will be getting a pretty substantial return based on the low income from the previous year and the number of children. There is also a pending 3rd stimulus payment coming up, so there is money coming in that could be used to do what needs to be done to get caught back up.

But, instead of using the money to do the right thing, some of the money is being used to ponder a move to another state, has been used to purchase flights to the possible state, and of course the spending for the trip will go up from there. The trip is being seen as a “vacation,” almost a scouting trip for their plans.

Advice?

They have been advised that moving is expensive (especially to a new state). They don’t have any prospects of a job at the place they would move. They have no real clue what the living expenses are like there.

They won’t listen to good counsel. Others have told them this is a terrible idea. Yet they charge forward.

So, I am asking for a friend…

What would you do? How would you address this? How would you go forward in this situation?

What now?

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So, over the last couple of days I have gotten some rather distressing news regarding my daughter and her high school graduation. Suddenly, graduating on time is in question, which up to this point it was not.

She is, for the most part, on track to graduate on time. She is heading into the second semester of her senior year and she is in progress of completing her final credits. She has been doing Running Start at the local community college and enjoying those classes too. Her grades aren’t going to light the world on fire, but she is very successful in the areas of interest and moderately successful in areas that aren’t so much.

Well, two days ago it was brought to our attention that she still needed to fulfill an additional requirement to meet the state standard in math. She didn’t meet the state standard her sophomore year and because of the pandemic they did not administer the test last year and it looks like they won’t again this year. So, she took a third year of math thinking that would satisfy the requirement since she didn’t pass the test in her sophomore year.

Now we find out that wasn’t enough.

According to her counselor, she needs to take the ACT and pass that with a certain score or she needs to take the college math placement test and then take and pass a college level math course.

SAY WHAT?

My daughter has struggled with math for three years. She has managed to get over the bar each time, but there were times that bar was wobbling, so to speak, and passing the class wasn’t totally a certainty. So, to see that she has more math to do isn’t a pleasant surprise.

Being realistic, she likely wouldn’t score high enough on the ACT to get credit that way and taking the college placement test will likely qualify her for a remedial level course, not a college level course, so she won’t be able to complete the requirement going that route in the last quarter of her final high school semester.

NOW WHAT?

Here’s the problem: We are just finding this out now. NOW!?!?

I called the high school counselor to ask why we were just finding this out now. He seemed a bit perplexed as to why I was asking. REALLY? Your job as the counselor is to make sure your students know what is needed to make it graduation. As it turns out, he never met with each senior before their senior year to outline the steps they needed to take care of to meet their graduation requirements. So his seniors didn’t get an individualized consultation looking at their progress and future path forward, that would have had an individualized plan laid out for each one of them.

WTF?

I taught high school history for 15 years and most of those years were to juniors and seniors. I can’t think of a time when the seniors hadn’t met with the counselor before their senior year so they knew exactly what needed to be done going into their senior year. My students always had that meeting. It was standard procedure at the school.

To my surprise, this doesn’t happen at my daughter’s school. In fact, it sounds like they have never even considered it as part of their aid to helping students graduate. REALLY? So how many other seniors are in the position of not graduating because of this? Granted it may not be a large number, but is should be a number that equals zero. Is this guy incompetent? Is he stupid? Does he really even know what his job is? Honestly, that pretty much his whole job – meet with students and help them plan their path to graduation. How does this not happen?

If we had known at the beginning of the year, going into her senior year, we could have made sure she took the high school level course that was offered at the school. Or, we could have made sure she took the college placement test, taken a lower level math course, and then progressed into a college level course naturally. Instead, we didn’t know this and we are left scrambling to figure out a way to make it happen. (Or, we cross our fingers and hope the state waives the requirement for this year like they did for last year – right now it looks like the Class of 2021 will have done a full year and a half of online learning.)

Needless to say, my frustration level is quite high. Not just for my own daughter, but for others who are in the same boat.

Waiting till the last minute to lay out this news is piss poor work. You had one job and you sucked at it. Get your crap together for next year. It may be too late for my daughter and others, but at least you could fix your crap for those who come after.

Thanksgiving and sex

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Got your attention? Keep reading, this is gonna be good.

Is fear going to keep you from doing the things you want, seeing the people you want, celebrating the way you want?

The governor has, in all his infinite wisdom (*hack, cough, hack*) along with his fear-mongering lackeys, has advised that you keep your Thanksgiving celebration small. As in, your immediate household. And, if you should gather with more people, it can’t be more than 10 and it should be outdoors.

WTF? We live in the Northwest, land of the ever falling rain and it isn’t exactly tropical temps up here. Yeah, like people are gonna do that…and if you’re afraid, then do it.

But, I say we treat Thanksgiving like we do sex.

Sex is between consenting adults, (typically) behind closed doors or inside the walls of your residence. It’s nobody’s business but theirs, right? People usually take the precautions they think necessary when engaging in such activities and they have a good time doing it. If we are to ignore what goes on behind closed doors because it is the right and choice of consenting adults (even if it is a group, if that’s your thing…) then people can’t say anything about it.

As such, Thanksgiving this year should be treated just like sex.

Yes, it’s a group activity, but all the adults (and their minions) present have consented and acknowledged the risk of gathering behind closed doors. What happens with a turkey, mashed potatoes, yams, cranberry sauce, and whatever other foods you like is nobody’s business but your own. How many people you have together is nobody’s business but your own. How much alcohol you have to consume to be able to stand your crazy uncle, or your in-laws, or the political conversations that will inevitably start, is nobody’s business but yours. If you take precautions to protect yourselves, or others, that’s nobody’s business but your own. The point is, you get to choose, not the government.

So, celebrate. Give thanks and be thankful.

**I will not post tomorrow as I will be gathering against the advice of the government and trying to endure the people who will invade space, my peace, and my quiet for an undetermined amount of time. Happy Thanksgiving to all!**

Once again

uyuni salt flat

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I don’t know why I bother, because I am going to be ignored either way.

Advice.

Why ask for it if you are going to completely ignore it?

Family. I tell ya.

Kids. *shakes head* Damn, kids.

When they ask for advice, they don’t really want advice. They just want validation for their own thoughts and opinions, and if you don’t give them what they want then they discount your advice and do what they wanted to do in the first place.

Gets old, ya know?

 

Listen

photography of person peeking

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It really sucks to see stuff happen to people.

But then again, there’s a reason the phrase “I told you so” often comes up in conversations after the fact. So, maybe it doesn’t suck. Dare I say it’s deserved?

It’s weird, isn’t it? How someone may (or may not have) ask for advice and you give it, and they ignore it. Then, almost as predictable as a fat kid near cake, what you predicted would happen happens and the only thing you can do is shake your head and bit your tongue as you think, “I told you so.”

When you ask someone with more life experience and they give you advice I would recommend you listen. Don’t just ask because you think it is the right thing to do or because you are looking for confirmation on the answer you want to hear. And if you don’t hear the answer you are looking for, certainly don’t go charging into the *insert problem/issue/dilemma/etc. here* without some serious other considerations. Ask more people. Sleep on it. Consider other options. Change course and see if something else will happen or something better comes about.

I hate being right.

No, actually, I don’t. I like being right.

Call me a jerk, if you want. But deep down, I know you like it too. And, secretly, we all like to be vindicated when we give advice and someone ignores it.

Are we bad people? No.

Should we celebrate in it? No. But we can secretly break our own arms patting ourselves on the back…go ahead and do it.

Feels nice, right?

At least that is better than sitting in public, pointing, and laughing. Of course, there may be a place for that too. But that’s a topic for another day.

Wise counsel

Grinding gears

Yeah, this today.

You know how you give someone advice you know is good advice because it comes from experience and yet they decide to do their own thing because they know better without having any experience (except failure)?

Yeah, grinds my gears.

I have not other words.


 

Ever find yourself giving wise counsel only to have it completely ignored?

Fleeing followers on Instagram

close up of smart phone

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Growing an Instagram account can be tough. Getting people to follow you, to share you, to like and comment is down right challenging.

What really sucks is that you start to see some results and people are beginning to follow you and then they flee – unfollow almost as fast as they followed you. At first I was being courteous and following them back, but I soon learned that these accounts were following my account just so they could get a follow and then they would unfollow my account.

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Well, if that doesn’t just burn ya up, I don’t know what will. People work really hard to create good content so the can get followers and really make an effort to do it via a legit method (I mean I get spam offers for “follower generators” all the time). Kinda makes ya mad, ya know?

Is that really how people get followers to their accounts? Spam follow accounts and hope they follow you back?

If you could read the directions

67-hilarious-teacher-memes-16

Meme via Winkgo

The directions are right there! READ them. Follow them. Stop asking questions!

It’s Friday the 13th and apparently basic functions of the human brain have stopped working as we are inundated with people who don’t/won’t read the directions.

Don’t have a great day…