Finger pointing

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There is a whole lot of finger pointing going on these days. “You did this,” or “You did that,” or “You failed to do…” is a common refrain heard across the land. It seems no one wants to be responsible for their own actions any longer. It is always someone else’s fault. It is always because of someone else’s failure. It is because of someone else’s attitude. It is because of someone else’s wealth or lack thereof.

Someone else is always to blame.

Or at least that seems to be what a majority of people believe and are trying to convince others of.

Newton’s Third Law says, “To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

In general, Newton was actually talking about physical items. Some, however, would argue that it doesn’t really apply to “life” and shouldn’t be misused that way.

I say those people are idiots.

I would posit they are saying that because they are one of those people who don’t believe in ownership of their own actions.

How about coming at it from a different angle – Every action, inaction, attitude, reaction, has a consequence. Perhaps this would be more influential coming from someone else:

A mountain is composed of tiny grains of earth. The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water. Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts. And the consequences whether good or bad of even the least of them are far-reaching. — Sivananda

So, how does this apply to the topic at hand?

EVERYTHING we do or say has consequences. Those consequences are in direct correlation (almost always) to how we navigate through life. Our actions in our environment, our interactions with others in our environment will always have consequences – sometimes positive and sometimes negative. There is never not a time when this isn’t true. Sure, the result might not have immediate consequence but make no mistake, there will eventually be a consequence.

I can’t help but take a look at the news and wonder how life would be different for lots of people had they made different choices in any given situation, whether a long time ago or in the immediate time and space.

Situations?

  • Law enforcement interactions: How you react in the situation will determine how they are going to react to you. Resistance, evasion, force, weapons, or suspicious activity will generate various levels of reaction. Do you always deserve the type of reaction you are going to get? Nope. But, you have to remember that your actions likely triggered the interaction in the first place. As such, your actions will also determine how the interaction progresses and ends. I can’t help but think there are a lot of situations as of late that ended terribly for lots of people (on both side of the law) because they weren’t following the law.
  • Cheating (whether in minor things or big things): You make the choice to be dishonest or to hide something from someone. You are creating a situation that will have a consequence. Will you experience that consequence right away? Maybe, maybe not.
  • Financial decisions: Spend wisely, reap positive consequences (most typically). Spend poorly, reap negative consequences (almost always). Either choice will likely result in habits that become a cycle. The cycle, as cycles go, repeats itself over and over. If you stop pointing fingers at others on why the cycle keeps perpetuating itself and change your behavior, because really no one else is to blame, then you will get different results. Thus, an action still has a reaction – just you get to decide if it is positive or negative.
  • Weight or health management: Admittedly, there are some genetics involved here, but for the most part you are still responsible for what you do or don’t put in your body. Make good choices, reap good benefits and a healthier body. Make poor choices, reap poor health and continually cascading issues. It all starts with a choice.
  • Work ethic: Your outcomes at work are directly related to how you approach work. If you are diligent, dedicated, conscientious, motivated, and energetic then you will likely have a good work experience. If you are lazy, apathetic, unmotivated, and have attitude issues then you will likely have a hard time keeping a job.

Are there exceptions to these things? Of course! Even Newton had exceptions to his 3rd law.

BUT, you can’t make a life out of pointing fingers and always blaming someone else.

You can’t be finding or relying on the exceptions for everything. If you are always looking for the exception, you probably really are looking for excuses. And those excuses? Those are the things holding you back and keeping you from making the right decisions at the right time, because you’ve trained yourself to point fingers and not take responsibility.

I’ll end with this, and I know it is cheesy, but the whole “Don’t forget if you point a finger at someone, you still have three pointed back at you.”

It’s true. Before you blame someone else for something, you better look at the choices and decisions you made along the way that got you to where you are at that moment in time.

Bailing, again

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Why do I feel like we are constantly responsible for bailing out the adult children? Good grief, it is never ending.

“Can we borrow the car?”

“Can we live with you?”

“Can you watch the kids?”

“Can we use the house?”

“We need help…”

“The kids need…”

“Can you help us find…”

“Can we do laundry at your house?”

“Can you keep this in your big freezer?”

“The car broke down again…”

“Will you co-sign with us?”

Choices. It all has to do with choices and theirs are continually poor. Much of it stemming from the fact that they rarely think about the future. Vision for the future and putting in a little thought about consequences and what might happen if…thus, the lack of forethought constantly has them stamping out fires of their own creation and never allowing them to head in the right direction.

Once again, we are being asked about borrowing a vehicle and providing a place for them to hang out while they have appointments in town. They are the ones that chose to move over an hour out of town (“We like living in the country”). They are the ones that made poor financial choices and only have one running vehicle, which also happens to be providing the only manner of income at the moment. They are the ones that have chosen to have four children on little to no income (supposedly the last two were unplanned, but we know better…).

These adult step-children are killing me. They know they are the source of friction in my home and yet they do nothing to help. It is a constant stream of needs, wants, and demands (or at least putting us in a position where it feels like a demand, leaving us with little choice).

The problem is, when I try to mitigate the help and limit the aid, it comes back to bite me in the ass. The wrath and second guessing in the household becomes palpable. Winter inside, and outside the house.

Yeah, good times…

Here we go again…

Fraud

grayscale photography of stop signage under sky

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Confirmation.

Only it isn’t the kind our state needed or wanted. Yet, we now know without a doubt that the governor and the health department had an alternative agenda. Revelations like this have a pretty serious implication on the state’s economy, but literally on lives of people who never had the virus, won’t ever have the virus, but are struggling with the isolation or unemployment.

Not only is our state the victim of a massive fraud in unemployment claims, but the governor seems unwilling or unable to deal with it. Instead, he cancels his usual briefing and sends an underling to take the heat. Leadership, eh?

Now, we have confirmation on how the governor’s agenda has played out. Many people, in states all over the US, have suspected for a long time that deaths in their states were being reported as “covid deaths” even though the person died of other causes. Pad the numbers. Make it look worse than it is. Justify lockdowns and killing jobs/the economy by making a totally survivable illness more dangerous than it is. Inflate the numbers for an agenda.

Are you people paying attention to what is going on in your state? Your country? Are you taking the government at its word or are you just hunkered down in fear, waiting for when they tell you “it is safe to come out”?

Conspiracy? No. But there are definitely some who are taking advantage of you while you are living in fear and being distracted by infectious chaos. Do you still believe that all who are in government are looking out for your best interest? If you do, no matter what side of the aisle you are one, then you’re naive at best…but I fear that maybe, if you are one of those who takes everything the government and media tells you without skepticism and cynicism, that you are something worse than naive.

And that is something to fear.

 

 

 

 

“Emergency”

dead end road sign

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Why is someone else’s “emergency” suddenly mine?

How does someone’s repeated poor choices, bad decisions, and terrible money management become my problem?

Why am I forced to suffer the consequences of others’ stupidity?

These questions, unfortunately, will never be answered. I am just unlucky enough to have to ask them on a frequently repeated basis.

I had to buy a used car this weekend so that I could loan it to a family member for a short period of time. Because they have no transportation and desperately need to keep their job, which is needed to keep other disastrous things from happening…which might still happen anyway.

It’s something I really didn’t have much of a choice in because I am damned if I do, and damned if I don’t.

 

Consequences

building ceiling classroom daylight

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Sorry, kids. You’re just gonna have to “deal with it.”

As much as you would like to not have consequences for your choices, even if those choices are based on good intentions, there are still consequences. There needs to be in a civilized society and you can’t change the rules every time they conflict with your beliefs.

I am not sure if you are aware, but right now there are probably hundreds (thousands?) of students in your community skipping school for climate change. Their intentions might be good (albeit questionable). Their intention is to draw attention to an issue you are concerned about. Great.

But, this can be effectively done on any other day at any other time. There isn’t a legitimate reason to skip school and I hope that the school district & school board in Seattle don’t bow to pressure and excuse these absences.

That also goes applies to these kids’ parents. Come on, parents, have a little integrity here! If you are a parent who excuses your child from school for such an activity then you are a part of the problem too. I know that is a bold statement, but you need to stop enabling bad behavior in your child.

Maybe you even agree with what your kid is doing, at least in the sense of the “cause.” Maybe you’re the permissive parent…you want to be “cool”…whatever…, but do you want to make a bigger impact with your parenting? Allow them the freedom to make the choice of staying in school or skipping it AND THEN let them deal with the consequences of that choice. Stop enabling everything your kid does. There are legitimate reasons for an excused absence from school and this isn’t one of them. You aren’t helping your child learn that making choices comes with responsibility.

Kids, stay in school.

 

Trailer park

gray camper trailer on grass field

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Sometimes you do nice stuff for people. Sometimes you don’t.

Sometimes people take advantage of your niceness. Sometimes they don’t.

There are some people staying in my yard, in a trailer. Let’s call them, family. This is the second time they have stayed in the yard, only the first time they were staying in a bigger POS than they are in now. This accommodation was made within the last 15 years, the former was at least 30.

Regardless, I didn’t have much of a say in whether or not they moved into the yard the first time and once again I didn’t have much of a say about their return either. Sometimes, against your better judgement, you have to do nice stuff.

What I didn’t want was for the yard to start looking like a trailer park. What I am getting is that the yard is starting to look like a trailer park. The living space and storage of the trailer is slowly creeping outside and into the yard.

Sometimes nice…isn’t.

Welcome to the trailer park.